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I noticed there was very little reference to the conservation of a relationship, a subject of utmost importance. No one taught us how high school or university to be a good partner. Most people learn firsthand through the most serious mistakes are them dearly.
One problem is that our culture activities have the mind and puts us unrealistic expectations of our future relationships. We learn to see his / our future partner and the relationship itself as an asset rather than as a factor of mutual support. In addition, most of the books written on the subject of preserving relationships do not provide enough efficiency tips.
Luckily, there is an extensive psychological study examined healthy relationships between people and found that there are several basic principles that a relationship needed to be good. The problem is that some of these recommendations are contrary to Tips grandmother, we used to get from other people.
Below I am attaching a list of people's behaviors in relationships, these behaviors are toxic and can ruin your relationship. It is very likely that you will fall while reading a token on the relationships you have had in the past and ended. It sucks, I know, the only solution is to learn not to do it again in your next relationship. # 1 blame the spouse / partner from past mistakes
Example: Another birthday party of her best friend in 2010 and since then your life is ruined. Why? Not a week goes by without your company Remind you of this contretemps. But that's okay, because you remind her every time that time you caught it sends txt her ex and this makes the situation between you two is a tie, right?
What's this? If you remember basic training in the army, the symbol was a small notebook in which he would record all potential embarrasment of soldiers and then before they leave home, he was reciting the blunders of those who left Saturday. One of the disastrous mistakes of men and women is 'register' memory all sorts of embarrassment and blunders son pair did and remember him them. Forever. One spouse continues to blame the other mistakes he made in the past. Once both partners pigeon chat do so, the relationship goes Lmain Competition 'Close Account. I mean, who was more or less okay okay in the relationship and hence on who's better.
Why is it toxic? One partner tries to use past mistakes of the other side to justify itself in the present and here it causes double damage the relationship. Instead of treating the present dispute, you avoid it and use the guilt feelings pigeon chat of the other party to do about manipulation and make him feel bad about himself present so you avoid discussing the real problem. If this pattern begins to repeat itself, the couple spend most of their energy from proving who was more 'wrong' instead of solving the problems bother them.
What to do instead? Instead of uploading blunders of the past, it is better that the couple will take care of the present. For example, the mere fact that she did to you in front of your friends shameful two years ago, is not related to that you forgot to buy her a present on her birthday this year, so do not mention it just. You need to understand that when you choose to be with a person, you get it as it is, with all the shortcomings and mistakes he made in the past. If you can not forgive the other side of these mistakes, it is better to say goodbye. If anything it has done so two years ago hit you then you would have to deal with it at the time. Important Note: The only time you are allowed to mention pigeon chat past mistakes of the other is the case that logical connection between things. If someone is constantly flirting with her friends and it bothers you, you can mention the case also happened a year ago because it was a repetitive pattern. # 2 be passive - aggressive and throw 'and hints, something bothers you
What's this? Instead the spouse tell you what bothers her directly, she's suggesting you and make you understand it yourself. Instead you tell her to bother pigeon chat you, you try to annoy her with all sorts of different ways and then you will fight for the things that hinder you.
Why is it toxic? This pattern relations transmitter you do not feel comfortable talking openly and clearly with each other. Your relationship should allow you to feel comfortable to express what goes through you without fear of being judged by the other side. If you feel the need to speak in hints, a sign that there is any problem regarding himself.
What to do instead? Express your feelings and your needs in an open, clear and obvious. Also, make it clear to the other side he / she must act according to what you said, but you'll be happy to get support and understanding from it. If the other party loves you, he will be happy to give you this support.
Let's take an example that you come home from work and starts kissing your spouse living room and then offers her through to the bedroom. She responds to you today not in the mood and she'd like to sleep with you and then you tell her: "I can not have a relationship with someone who does not like sex."
Why is it toxic? This type of behavior which is emotional blackmail and creates a lot of unnecessary drama. A small problem can lead to a crisis regarding threatens the relationship itself. It is important for 2 couple pigeon chat to understand that they could communicate openly without the other party threatens to end the relationship itself. Otherwise, one spouse pigeon chat will stop telling the other what bothers him and share openly and it will lead to an atmosphere pigeon chat of distrust in relationships.
What to do instead? pigeon chat It's okay for your spouse from getting pigeon chat hurt and to love what she has done. It's part of being human. Understand that you can be committed to another person and to love his behavior all the time. There is a difference between committing to someone pigeon chat and get 100% of his behavior. Mates that they can create an atmosphere of relationship in which there is a place to give and receive criticism without emotional blackmail, will benefit from a long, strong relationship. # 4 to accuse your spouse your feelings
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